In a world that often celebrates extroversion, aggressiveness, multitasking, working hard, and a fast-paced lifestyle, we Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) frequently find ourselves at odds with societal norms, especially today in our nation of separation and bullying. It can be very challenging to be a HSP in an insensitive world.
Those of us who identify as HSP share heightened sensory and emotional awareness, deep processing, deep empathy, and a keen sensitivity to environmental stimuli. HSPs profoundly experience the world in a way that can be both a gift and a burden.
In a nut shell, Highly Sensitive People experience the world deeply. We process sensory input deeply, rely on our intuiton, and notice subtleties. Many of us identify as clairecognizant or clairesentient (or another claire) as a clear way of knowing that is difficult to explain to others and may have it discounted or dismissed entirely. (My theme song used to be "Why must I always explain?" because my ex constantly misunderstood or discounted what I had to say.) We're taking in a great deal of information and not all of it is evident to those around us. It's as if our senses are fine tuned and amplified while other's are fuzzy and on low, so it can be confusing to have so much information without everyone else having it too. Can you relate? 20% + of us are HSPs and we often feel the pressures to conform to the greater societal expectations which can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem if we don't have support from a skilled counselor or therapist to learn how to manage it.
The Weight of Expectations
From an early age, HSPs may feel different from peers. We're the kids who stand and observe, pull at our scratchy sweaters, remove shoes (like I did) because they felt awful, get called shy, get tummy aches from stress, and spend time watching ladybugs... We're the ones that say things like 'I don't want to go,' 'I don't belong here,' 'I never fit it,' and 'I'm a loner.' While others may thrive in bustling social settings, we HSPs often feel overwhelmed by noise, sounds, bright lights, scents, textures, crowds, and intense emotions. We don't like small talk and we want to have meaningful conversations, we are uncomfortable around fake, unkind, and superficial behavior, and unless it's a crowd of other HSPs it's likely that any crowd will not be very attractive to us. We need to be given patience, respect, honesty, kindness and space to be ourselves. We're get tagged as shy, but we're discerning.
Societal norms in the USA seem to dictate that individuals should be extroverted, decisive, and unflappable. The pressure to perform at certain levels and beyond is steep, and for us HSPs, the pressure to conform to these ideals can create a sense of internal conflict. We want to please, and we don't want to be pushed. We may feel misunderstood and undervalued, and find ourselves compelled to mask our true selves, leading to a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety. The constant effort to fit in can be exhausting, resulting in emotional fatigue and a diminished sense of self-worth, and more. Not only is it exhausting and difficult to reverse later on, but if this continues it can lead to physical illness such as autoimmunity.
The Impact of Stress and Anxiety
The heightened sensitivity of HSPs means we are more attuned to the emotions and needs of others, (including the environment) often at the expense of our own well-being. We don't want to hurt or disappoint anyone, and until we are able to discern our own needs, realized and implemented our boundaries, the empathy we feel can become blending with others and then
emotional fatigue and overwhelm especially in environments that are chaotic or emotionally charged. The stress of navigating these situations can trigger anxiety and overwhelm, making it difficult for HSPs to engage in social interactions or pursue their passions.
We need to learn helpful skills to navigate the typical world we live in. I've found that the practice of mindfulness is very helpful in becomeing aware of our own desires, needs, and limits and learning how to express them in meaningful ways. Mindfulness is a wonderful life path that leads to self awareness, which leads to self understanding, which leads to self realization, which leads to self actualization and is integral in becoming an authentic human being. It's through this self awareness that we come to love ourselves and so others.
The Role of Self-Compassion
When others are not offering us the kindness, acknowledgment and recognition we need, it's up to us to do it. Practicing self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding especially during moments of struggle. It begins with a slow, long breath and inward focus, and becomes a way of life. For HSPs, cultivating self-compassion is essential in navigating the challenges posed by societal norms. Realizing that our sensitivity is not a flaw, but a trait, will help us HSPs embrace our gifts and navigate this world with confidence. We don't have to be like the others, we can be ourselves, and maybe we'll influence others to be a bit more sensitive too. This shift in perspective can foster resilience and empower HSPs to honor our own feelings rather than suppress them by trying to be someone we're not.
Mindfulness practices are very beneficial for HSPs. By learning to stay present and observe our thoughts and emotions without judgment, we can develop healthier coping mechanisms for managing stress and anxiety. Mindfulness can create a filter for the overwhelming stimuli of the outside world, helping us to know it's not us, it's temporary, and we're able to manage it allows us HSPs to recharge and reconnect with our inner selves.
Challenging Societal Norms
The world is made up of many different types of poeple, and to create a more inclusive environment for HSPs, it is crucial to challenge the societal norms that equate our sensitivity with weakness or somehow wrong. It is far from it. HSPs are strong, perceptive, and highly intuitive. Let's celebrate the strengths of HSPs—such as our sensitivity, understanding, creativity, empathy, and ability to connect deeply with others can help shift the narrative around sensitivity. We work with our hearts and minds, we do our best, and we care. We're the artists, the ones behind the scenes, the teachers, the researchers, the counselors, the healers... you and me. The world needs our sensitivity, so let's stand up and share it.
When we come to accept and welcome differences of all kinds by fostering environments that value emotional intelligence and introspection, sensitivity and kindness, we'll all win. Take a moment to self reflect and ask yourself if you've been kind and respectful to yourself today.
I'd be happy to talk with you about how I can help you find calm confidence in a sea of chaos. Please reach out and let's set up a time to discuss what's going on in your life and how we can enhance it with mindfulness and somatic awareness. 🙏
Warmly,
Janis
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